Experts consider moving to be one of the major stresses in life. Leaving behind friends, familiar places, and activities creates anxiety for everyone involved. And it’s hard work to pack and prepare for a move and then settle into a new home.

The reasons behind a move can sometimes be upsetting, and that can add to the stress. You may be forced to take a job in a new town because of company layoffs or staff reorganizations. Sometimes a death or divorce in the family can lead to a move, or your family may have to move to take care of a sick family member, such as a grandparent.

During the busy, stressful time of planning, preparing, and packing for a move, you may be too preoccupied to realize how the change is affecting you. They may not even realize you are unhappy if you don’t discuss it with someone. Be open with yourself and try to talk  about the move and how it is affecting you. Others in your immediate family may have the same concerns or fears.

A move can lead some people to become depressed. If you find that you can’t shake feelings of sadness or anxiety, talk to someone. Not dealing with feelings now may lead to problems later.

It can help to remember that the problems involved in moving are always temporary. People usually feel better once they’ve had time to settle in.

Making the Best of It

Although there is no way to eliminate the anxiety of moving, there are many ways to make the move easier. Before you even begin packing, you can start to get to know your new home. The Internet and library may contain lots of good information about your new community. Make a list of your interests and hobbies, and then find the locations and phone numbers of places where those activities take place. When you’re visiting your new school, find out if there are deadlines for activities you’re interested in and see if you can still join.

A new place seems more familiar, and it’s easier to make friends, when you can participate in a common interest with people who do the things you enjoy.

Look for opportunities to try new activities as well. If you have a job, ask your current boss to write a reference letter for you. If you work for a food chain or a chain of stores, you might be able to arrange a transfer and have a job waiting for you.

See if you can get a city map and highlight where you will be living, where the new schools are, and the location of places of worship, movie theaters, parks, and other places you like to go. Ask if your realtor can videotape your new house if you haven’t been able to see it yet (most realtors post indoor and outdoor pictures of properties online).

It can help to learn about what makes your new city or town unique. Share the information with your friends and make them feel part of your moving experience. Soon you will feel like you already know your new community.

Packing It Up

You can pick up a copy of the United States Postal Service Mover’s Guide in any post office or online; it will give you some tips. The guide includes change of address forms, a checklist of things to do, and suggestions for a survival kit that will contain items you may need to have at hand and might otherwise be packed out of reach during the move.

You can help — and feel more in control — by making a list of things that need to be done before the move. For example, organize a yard sale to sell the stuff you don’t want to take with you. You may find that friends and neighbors are interested in participating in a yard sale, too.

As soon as you know you are moving, start preparing by:

sorting out clothes and giving away items that you aren’t going to take
packing away items you are going to take, but won’t need until after you’ve moved
spreading out the chores you have to do so you won’t be overwhelmed during the last few days,  cleaning up your house or aprtment or any other areas you are responsible for to make packing easier,  labeling your boxes so you can easily identify where things are when you get to your new home.

Keeping in Touch

One of the fears of moving is losing old friends. Remember your friends when you get to your new destination by putting pictures up around your new room. Print out copies of pictures for your friends to keep, too.

Saying goodbye is never easy, but it doesn’t mean it’s forever. Luckily, today it’s easier than ever to stay in touch with social networking sites and IM. Share pictures and videos. Let your friends and family know about the differences, both good and bad, between your old home and your new place. You might be able to plan summer visits to see old friends or for a friend to visit you.

Moving is hard, but you may discover that it has taught you some valuable skills: how to make new friends, be flexible, and find your way around strange places. Although learning these lessons can feel tough at the time, once you’ve settled in, you may find you like the new place better. And be sure to say “hi” to the next new neighbor — you can relate.

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